Home Published Writings Interview Essays Poetry Short Stories Contact

Wonders For Sale
A Play by R.P. Infantino

CHARACTERS
Salesman (middle-aged man selling seven-volume set on mythology).
Boy (age ten).
Assorted city people.

SETTING
A busy metropolitan street filled with people briskly walking to and from their destinations.
A salesman stands atop a wooden crate. Beside him a table with many books.
A boy stands afar from the salesman, his back to a brick storefront, listening intently while many city-goers rush by.

Daytime. Many years prior to present day.

SALESMAN
Attention! May I have your attention one and all! I stand before you on this crude pulpit, on this busy corner to rise above you to change your dreary lives. I know you work hard. I know there is little time for much else. I know money is sparse. These I know for I have knowledge, and knowledge is what I offer you. Knowledge and wonder. Wonder for the ages. I offer you that which you can get from nowhere else, and from no one else.

I offer you the wide-eyed wonders, the titanic tales, the exciting exploits of Greek, Roman, and Norse mythology. The extraordinary chronicles of gods and god-like humans. Timeless accounts of what the human race thought and felt some 2,000 years ago. The answer to who we are and how we came to exist.

All this can be yours in this seven-volume set for the infinitesimal sum of 9 dollars and 95 cents. You can’t beat that with a stick, my friends. A mere pittance for these classic masterpieces—fables for all ages. You'll acquire a knowledge and understanding of human nature. What price would you pay for that?

You, sir [points to a man walking by], hold but for a second. I know you are on your way to important places and pressing matters, but what would you give to read of stories which are the cornerstone of Western culture?

MAN
Not one penny.

SALESMAN
My good man, I am not selling you mere paper and ink, but an entirely new life.

MAN
With books? [He continues to walk on].

SALESMAN
My departing friend, a book is like a curtain—you open it and the light shines in. You, madame [addresses a woman walking briskly], pause please while you briskly walk this crowded corner from your day’s labor. What price is it worth to peruse tales of wonder and excitement that have inspired human creativity from time immemorial?

WOMAN
Who has time to read? I barely have time to talk. G’bye [She quickly rushes on].

SALESMAN
You may dismiss these books as simply a collection of words, numbers, and punctuation marks, but I assure you, with them your life will change.

For such a scant sum, you’ll learn of Midas who had the touch of gold; you’ll meet the man-goat Pan who played his pipes of reeds as sweetly as the nightingales; you’ll discover how the enchanting Sirens lured sailors to their death with melodious voices; you’ll wonder at the heavenly Olympus, Valhalla and Asgard.

How much is that worth to you? If you paid triple my price, you’d be stealing from me. You, sir [hails a rushing man], hold please. You rush away too soon. I offer you relief from your busy, troubled, and humdrum life. I offer you timeless tales of antiquity. The saga of gods and goddesses, heroes and villains, monsters and demons, what is that worth to you?

MAN
Will reading stories help pay my bills? Will it put food on my table? I don’t have time for such nonsense. Goodbye to you [Man walks away].

SALESMAN
You are sadly mistaken, my malnourished friend. I offer you sustenance of the mind—knowledge. Great knowledge begets great power. With great power you live like the gods I offer you. For the mere sum of nine dollars and 95 cents, these seven volumes will set you free.

You’ll discover harrowing tales of great men like Jason, the leader of the Argonauts in quest of the Golden Fleece; Odysseus, commander in chief of the Greeks in the Trojan War; Bellerophon, who flew the winged horse Pegasus. Heroes the likes of which you too can emulate were you so inspired.

Heroes to admire like Theseus, who slew the man-bull Minotaur; Sigurd, who bested the dragon Fafnir; and Prometheus, who stole fire from Olympus. You’ll learn how mankind, and indeed the world, came to be. How much is that to you? My fine couple [indicates a man and woman walking by], how much would you pay to learn of such wondrous things? Priceless, I’d say.

MAN
I wouldn’t give you a bootstrap for them.

WOMAN
And I wouldn’t take them if you paid me [Couple rush on].

SALESMAN
You sad, little-minded people. These are world-renowned masterworks that have delighted and enthralled all who have read them for thousands upon thousands of years. You! [Addresses another man on the street]. How about you, sir? Would you like to read of epic accounts of good and evil, love and hate, victory and defeat, truth and lies, strength and weakness, life and death?

MAN
Read about it? I live it every day. Who wants to hear of someone else’s problems when I have enough of my own? You’ll be standing on this corner all day and not sell one volume. We're all having a hard enough time feeding our families to spend money on such triviality [Man rushes off].

SALESMAN
My poor man, these stories of the gods will enrich you as much as the food you seek. Authors with names such as Ovid, Homer, Hesiod, Apollodorus, Pindar. They knew of things we do not, things we'll never understand except through their immortal words. They have been praised and emulated throughout the world for many thousands of years, while you'll be forgotten the moment Hades receives you. You are passing up an experience you simply cannot afford to.

You, my young man [points to a Boy standing against the storefront]. Come here to me. You have been watching me, listening for some time now. How many years are you?

BOY
[Nervously] I—I am ten, sir [The Boy approaches the Salesman].

SALESMAN
And my young man of ten years, have you heard my declamations? To listen and to hear are altogether different things. Do you truly hear and understand my pronouncements?

BOY
Yes—yes, sir.

SALESMAN
Your wide eyes affirm your words. And do you want the knowledge I offer of the gods and goddesses of Greece, Rome, and Scandinavia? Tales to educate as well as entertain?

Stories of brave warriors the likes of Perseus who beheaded the Medusa, whose glance could turn one to stone; of the powerful Heracles, the strongest combatant on earth; of Athena, the fierce and ruthless battle-goddess; of Pandora, who with the opening of a lid brought plague and sorrow to mankind; of Helen of Troy, the fairest woman in the world, whose abduction caused the Trojan War; of the one-eyed Cyclops; of the lovers Orpheus and Eurydice, Pygmalion and Galatea, Cupid and Psyche.

Would you, my fine young man, like these and other gods at your fingertips for all time? To learn, above all, to live heroically and to die with dignity?

BOY
Y-yes—yes, sir. I would like that. Please.

SALESMAN
You are wise beyond your ten years, young man. Much wiser than those old enough to know better. And what, my young man, would you tender for all that I offer? The wonders of the universe—what would you pay?

BOY
Why, sir, I—I don’t have much. But for what you offer, I—I would give all that I have.

SALESMAN
Yes, yes, I was correct. You are a wise young man. And what is “all that I have” that you speak of?

BOY
Just—just this, sir. [Reaches in pocket to remove its contents].

SALESMAN
Hmmm, you remove from your pocket all that you have: two silver coins, a cats-eye marble, and much lint.

BOY
It—it is all I have, sir. It is everything.

SALESMAN
My young man of ten years, you offer me more than that man [Points to passerby] who rushes off, for he offers me nothing. You offer me more than that woman [Points to woman walking by] running to and fro, for she would haggle me down to a pittance. And that man [Addresses man rushing on] who ignores me, even if he would pay full price, it would be nothing to him for he has riches beyond compare.

But you, my wise young man, you offer me all your wealth, all your possessions, indeed, all that you have. You have offered me your entire riches and in so doing have offered me more than these roustabouts even if they paid at full price, for you have given up your small empire. You are indeed the riches of this sad lot.

For that, young man of ten years, I offer you the wonders of the gods to enjoy for eternity, for the sum of two silver coins and one cats-eye marble [The Boy's eyes widen]. Why, you shake in delight, for you know their worth. Allow me to remove your two silver coins and marble—the lint I can do without—from your trembling hand [Salesman takes the items from the Boy].

If you would be so kind as to hold forth your other hand so I may pass these seven volumes of timeless tales of inspiration and glory to your waiting arms [The Boy holds out both arms while the Salesman places the books in his hands].

Treasure these, young man, and as you grow, pass these heroic tales to others, the same as Ovid and Homer and Hesiod and Apollodorus and Pindar have passed them to us and as I pass them to you. We will live knowing we have given the glory of Greece, the grandeur of Rome, and the splendor of Scandinavia to the world as they have for over 2,000 years.

BOY
Thank you, s-sir. I'm so—so grateful. I—I don't know what—what to—

SALESMAN
Say no more. Here, let me use my ’kerchief to dry your wet eyes [Salesman removes a cloth from his pocket and wipes the Boy's eyes]. Travel on as Odysseus had traveled, and grow to be the wise hero you are destined to be [Boy walks away filled with excitement].

Now, who else would like to experience the brave feats of yesteryear that will change your dreary lives? This seven-volume set can be yours for the mere sum of nine dollars and 95 cents, and at that price you would be stealing from me as Prometheus had stolen fire from the gods.

You, sir! No? How about you, madam? No? And you? How about you? No?

You have no idea what you are missing.

Copyright © 2023 by R.P. Infantino